Surrender

Clearly, the aliens possess superior intelligence and technology. This is a chance to get in on the ground floor of an exciting new opportunity.

“Clut,” you begin, “I speak for the whole planet Earth when I say we would be happy to serve as the resort planet to the wealthy and wonderful Labail, but there are some conditions. First off, you will need a resort manager. As the reigning king of Earth, I should be elected for the job, without the need for an election of course. As supreme manager, I should be able to boss around everyone on Earth, you know, to make sure your stay here is comfortable. Second, the whole feeding off our young thing is a bit tricky. You see, humans generally don’t like that sort of thing, so maybe you guys could just forget that one and try mangoes or something?”

The alien stands motionless for a moment before answering:

“Human, we accept that you may continue to reign as king of Earth, to ensure our every fancy is met without resistance. Unfortunately, we must eat your children. Actually, it’s not a must, but we really want to, they look delicious.”

This is getting disgusting. There’s no way people will stand for it, at least not without coercion. “Okay everyone,” you say turning to the crowd, “These guys want to invade our planet for a few months each year and… uh… eat our babies while they’re here. In exchange they’ve offered us riches and will spare us from annihilation. All we have to do is cater to their every whim – fair deal right?”

Years later, you sit at your magnificent babyskin desk organizing the Labail’s winter retreat. You’re kept very busy, as it turns out winter on Labail lasts two-thousand Earth years. You think back to simpler times, when all you had to do was run around naked, before turning back to your paperwork.

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