Weaving Your Way To Freedom

Figuring that breaking into a house to steal clothes is probably not the best way to avoid police capture, you decide to facilitate an inconspicuous escape by making your very own. Deftly, you pluck a variety of leaves and twigs from the hiding-bush and, with uncanny speed, weave an elegant gown. Within minutes you slip into a new outfit, replacing your au-naturel with oh natural! Shameful nakedness finally covered, you emerge from the bushes in an awesome home-made disguise, confident the police will never recognize you. Strutting like a peacock in heat, you whistle your way down the sun-drenched sidewalk, not a care in the world.

Sure, people are staring, but you possess the confidence of a person who can make their own clothes – cool as a cucumber. The only thing marring this perfect summer day is the sound of heavy machinery grinding somewhere up ahead. Unconcerned despite amnesia, the source of the racket around the corner is hidden until it’s too late.

A crew of tree-trimmers has left a large pile of tree bits lying haphazardly on the sidewalk. The snug fit of your home-made gown makes them impossible to avoid. With a curse you fall deep into the branches, and despite furious wiggling, are unable to get up. The gown is simply too well tailored; a casual fit would have been more practical, but you’re a sucker for tight bush-clothes. You are being moved and cry out, but the arborist is unable to hear your screams over the sound of the wood-chipper. The good news is you’ll make great mulch for someone’s garden.

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